Thursday, May 04, 2006

Dave's Wedding

a few weeks ago i was in philadelphia for my good friend dave's wedding. the wedding was a great place to meet up with my 3 roommates from my last two years of college, neal, dave and qiuwei.

after neal, q and i sat down and started reminiscing about dave (we actually freaked q out by telling him that he would almost certainly have to give a speech, since he was dave's roommate for 4 years) we realized that dave hadn't asked any of us to be in the wedding party. now, from the outset, i don't mean this to be a "tut-tut why didn't dave ask us" complaining blog entry. what it got me thinking about was friendship, and how easily we can become distant.

honestly, dave and i haven't really communicated that much since we graduated, and i think that's also true of dave and q, and dave and neal. however, it's weird to think about how close we were back then, and how so much can change so quickly! of course, we're all still friends, but somehow really not that close.

i guess what was so befuddling was to look up and realize that i didn't really recognize anyone in dave's wedding party, despite the fact that we were friends for all 4 years of college. was there really such a separation in dave's life between us and them? i guess we all have our distinct group of friends.

anyway i can't exactly pinpoint what is bothering me about this, but i know i don't like it! but of course i'm very happy for dave, for kirstin, and i was so happy to be there. all i know is that it must be tough being the bride and groom, making decisions that might make people like me miffed... can't please everyone. Posted by Picasa


bea said...

quick question:

let's assume for example, you and Neha decide to tie the knot. (I'm not suggesting anything here!!! Honest!)

Would you have considered those roommates automatically for your wedding party?

What about folks from google or your PhD program or your siblings?


omar said...

i probably would've considered a lot of people, but of course i would also be constrained. so i'd talk to everyone i considered, and let them know what constraints i'm under but let them know that of course i thought about them!

though maybe i'd also be swamped and would forget to even do that!

seema said...

interesting thoughts omar.

it's true about becoming distant from friends. for example, my friend shani is getting married in sept and we were basically best friends from grade 9-13. then i went off to montreal, and we became more distant, but still in touch. i returned to toronto and got married, and she was in my bridal party (which was huge granted) and now, i haven't been asked to join hers. weird!

in a way i felt hurt, but then i thought that i haven't been close to her in a long time (best friend close) so i guess i understand - but it still stings.

Q said...

yo this is a fucked up entry. i still think we're close. i spent a week with you in the costa rican mangroves with snakes and shit. omi, i think we need to sit down for a heart to heart.

omar said...

you're right q! you and i are tight! we did scrounge around in costa rica and have great fun. though we don't keep in touch as much as we could.. but we're happy.

i was generalizing, and i lumped you in. my bad.